15 reasons to get out of Miami in the summer
As we are leaving, yet again, this weekend for another trip out of town I figured that I needed to justify my excessive traveling since I said here how much I hate to travel and here how poorly my previous traveling experiences have gone. So, with no further ado, here is my list of 15 reasons to get the hell out of Miami in the summer.
- Summer in Miami means hurricane season. Ok, granted that this year we have yet to have any storms, but the season ain’t over until October. I know this is ancient history to most, but since I was here during Andrew I really don’t want to do it again. We’ve lucked out so far. We moved back to Miami last summer and there were no storms (Ernesto was a joke and only something to keep the media busy) but the year before, when we were still in Canada, was a whopper.
- Mosquitoes. Really, they should just be classified as the state bird. They’re huge and swarm like locusts on me the second I go outside. I get nasty reactions to mosquito bites (luckily not as bad as my sister-in-law who gets golf ball sized welts) and I try to avoid contact as much as possible.
- I HATE the heat. And again, I don’t mean the basketball team, although if I followed b-ball I’m sure they wouldn’t be my favorite team. The typical day in Miami is about 90 degrees F and about 90% humidity. That’s typical. Bad days are much worse. You know it’s hot when your calves are sweating.
- I am a bit of an exercise freak. Running in Miami SUCKS ASS. It’s too freaking hot and the humidity is so high that you feel you need a scuba tank to get enough oxygen.
- The 4 pm rain storm. Not only is it hot and humid every day but it also rains, almost predictably, every day at around 4 pm. I’m not talking about a light rain here either. When it rains in Miami, it really rains. It rains so hard that you can’t see the house across the street when you look out the window. Of course, this should be expected when you build a city on a landfill and a swamp. This would not be a bad thing if a) I didn’t have to walk up to Kung Fu for a 4 pm session and b) when it rained it actually helped cool things off. Instead the 4 pm rainstorm just increases the humidity.
- The sweat! Oh, the sweat! Many mornings when I get up and get showered (on those days MJ allows it) I frequently wonder why I even bothered. It takes about 2.3 seconds after stepping outside before you are drenched in sweat making you wonder why you even bothered to shower at all.
- The A/C in both my house and my car are unreliable. I’ve bitched about both here and here. In fact, the a/c in my car crapped out AGAIN today. *sigh* Hopefully, I’ll have a new car to drive soon, but more on that later.
- Until I was about 5 months pregnant CableDad and I lived in Canada. MJ apparently decided in utero that the Canadian weather suits her much better than the Miami weather. This kid HATES to sweat. refer to comment #6 as to why this is problematic.
- Repeatedly losing power at my house because for some reason FPL (Florida Power and Light) are not capable of dealing with power surges that happen frequently during the daily summer thunderstorms.
- Many people say that you can beat the summer heat by hitting the beach or going to the pool. Um, not really. First of all, you can’t really bring an 8 month old to the beach. Hello! No amount of sunblock will protect virgin skin from the harsh UV rays of the Miami summer sun and it’s just too freaking hot to hang out, even if you are in the shade. As for the pool, and this applies to the beach as well, see my above comment about the daily rain storms. I don’t know about you, but I’m not too keen on hanging out outside in the water during violent thunder and lightening storms and torrential downpours.
- During the rainy season these interesting (and I use that word very lightly as I am not an Entomogist) and highly irritating millipede type creatures swarm en masse onto whatever high ground they can find. In my case that means my living room. Since my house is over 60 years old it has it’s fair share of creaks and cracks. No matter how many times I try to barricade the space under the front door the still seem to push their way in. Last year this was not nearly the problem it is now. It was gross and annoying but not problematic. This year Miss MJ is really quite mobile and as she explores the house each bug she finds is like a tempting delicacy for her. Yeah, the thought of my kid eating bugs does NOT appeal to me.
- Don’t even get me started on the Palmetto Bugs. Imagine a roach about 1- 1 1/2 inches in length that flies. ugh!
- Going anywhere requires a bit of forethought as I must start the car at least 10-15 minutes before I go anywhere (not so great for the environment, I assure you) just to give the car time to cool down before putting MJ in it. I mean, a baked baby is never a happy baby.
- I hate gardeners! (Nothing personal, guys.) Summertime in Miami means that people who would have their lawns tended once every two to three weeks do it every week if not more frequently. If you need an explanation for this phenomenon, see my above comments on rain and heat and consider the growth cycles and general needs of plants.
- Did I mention the heat, the humidity and the bugs? Yeah? Well, they need another mention.
So that’s why this Saturday I will torture myself yet again and get back on a plane, this time bound for North Carolina. We’ll be gone for a week. Hopefully I’ll be able to post and keep up with blogs while I’m gone.