Florida humor

Hilary at Mom’s Tinfoil Hat sent this to me last week and I just could not help but share the hilarity. Of course if you’ve never lived in South Florida you may not find it as funny as I do, but it might give you an insight into the way of life down here.

You know you’re a Floridian if….

1. Socks are only for bowling.

2. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

3. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

4. Your winter coat is made of denim.

5. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

6. You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

7. Anything under 70 is chilly.

8. You pass on the right and honk at the elderly, but pull over for a funeral.

9. You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.

10. You could swim before you could read.

11. You have to drive north to get to The South.

12. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

13. Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

14. You’ve gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark.

15. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.

16. You dread lovebug season.

17. You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances… but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

18. You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.

19. You know why flamingos are pink.

20. You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

21. You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven’t.

22. “Down South” means Key West

23. “Panhandling” means going to Pensacola

24. You think no one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

25. An alligator once walked through your neighborhood or is currently living in a pond near your house.

26. You smirk when a game show’s “Grand Prize” is a trip or cruise to Florida

27. All the local festivals are named after a fruit.

28. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

29. You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

30. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Ichetucknee and Withlacoochee

31. You know what the “stingray shuffle” is, and why it’s important!

32. You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

33. You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.

34. Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, Nascar and Go Gators.

~ by CableGirl on Thursday, October 4, 2007.